How does the pelvic floor help us enjoy sex more?

Just as we've got the six pack (maybe not!) in front of our abdomen, back muscles behind and the diapragm under the ribs, we also have a group of muscles joining the spine to the pubis and connecting the sitting bones to hold everything up. That group of muscles is the pelvic floor. If we can identify them and work them well, they can give us no end of pleasure, as well as helping prevent a few problems like stress incontinence and prolapse in women and erection problems in men.

Just to get an image of where the pelvic floor in women actually is let's look at these diagrams

If you are interested in the science behind this and the names of all the many muscles which make up the pelvic floor then have a look at this presentation OR this article I did a few years ago, but don't worry about the names because we're going to focus more on the pleasure of sex, and less on the science.

Think of today's posting as something which is toning up the muscles in preparation for great sex. (And if you're already having great sex, think of this posting as something to practise while you're having great sex!)

Ok. Before that though let's make sure we can identify the pelvic floor.

Find a comfortable position - sitting, lying, standing, on all fours - all of these positions work.

SUPERFICIAL MUSCLES

Now to locate the superficial pelvic floor muscles all you have to do is imagine yourself passing urine, faeces or wind. You relax the pelvic floor when you do all of these. Imagine the opposite, the contraction you make when you've finished. So you now know how to contract and relax the superfical pelvic floor muscles.

DEEP MUSCLES

To find the deeper pelvic floor muscles might take a little longer but try imagining where the bottom of your spine is, and imagine drawing it forwards towards the pubic bone, then pull in further and further until you're at the maximum - you'll feel your lower abdomen tighten up as well.

Great, as you practice women may notice that as well as tightening the anus and the vagina, the deeper the contraction, the more there seems to be a connection between these contractions and the clitoris - that's because some pelvic floor muscle fibres join into the clitoris, so practising pelvic floor exercises can be quite enjoyable! Men may notice that as well as a tightening of the anus, the deeper the contraction the penis moves up and down. And the more we do the contractions the stronger that connection becomes.

PELVIC FLOOR TRAINING

Moving on... just like all muscle training we need to do pelvic floor training regularly. At home and at work we can condition ourselves to respond to certain cues - like whenever we answer the phone, or whenever we're standing at a photocopier, whenever we answer ther door etc etc. Every time we practice we should do some fast contractions and then some long slow ones, to make sure all types of muscle fibre get a work out. And build up the number we do and then NEVER GIVE UP - this is especially important for women who have babies, no matter what the delivery was like.

Exercise classes with a focus on core stability are excellent. Pilates classes are brilliant, and so are yoga classes where there is mention of the "locks" or "bandas".

If we are then able to do these exercises when we're having sex, as well as strenthening our core muscles healthily, the effect on sex can be quite stunning. But it takes practice! So go on, give the exercises a try, and then get practising.

Please feel free to ask me any questions and let me know how it's going.